Monday, July 16, 2007

Monday Madness

It's time again for Monday Madness. I almost didn't do it... I've had allergy problems all weekend long and my brain isn't working quite right. But, then I read this at Kailani's and the original article here, so I thought maybe I would go ahead with it after all. Besides, I'd be interested to see what y'all have to say about all this.

1. Do you feel that children these days are disciplined enough? I think that it depends entirely on the family, however I have to say in too many cases I see situations where the child seems to be completely in charge of the household. I was a preschool teacher and it was amazing what you see in family dynamics when you work that closely with children and their parents.

2. What are your thoughts about the "time out chair?" It CAN be useful, depending on how it is used. One of its best uses is giving parents a time to cool down! :-) I have to tell you about this, though.. it made me smile. I had a student who was put in "time out" while out of the playground. One of his friends got up on the bench next to him. C. looked at his friend and said, "Go away. This is my time out!"

3. When YOU were a child, what form of discipline did your parents use most often? My grandmother was the one who took care of us while my mom was at work. And, she was of the old time variety. We had peach trees in our backyard and if we needed it, we had to go out and cut a switch and bring it back to her. Heaven help you if you brought back the wrong size switch (and believe me.. we knew what she wanted!) If we TRIED to get by with that (one either too small or too big to be effective), she would take us out to the tree, cut her own switch and then switch our legs back to the house. We only did that once. :-) Switching was effective. It stung but left no lasting damage. The important part of the lesson, though, was that we always knew WHY we were being switched. It wasn't arbitrary. There was always a cause and effect. We did this.. so we got switched. (Now, in the winter when we wore long pants... it was a paddle on our butts.)

4. Did your parents have to constantly remind you of the guidelines they set for you, or did they just have to LOOK at you as a "gentle" reminder? Oh... the look. That's all it took. There was none of this "I'm telling you for the last time..." stuff. The first time WAS the last time!

5. What are your thoughts about screaming kids in public places? First, it's not the kids' fault. The parents are to blame for not being prepared or putting the child in a situation they can't handle. If a child is overtired or overstimulated, they are going to act out. Small children do not have the internal discipline or skills to handle things like that. If parents want to take their children out to dinner in a restauarant, they should do it early enough that the kids aren't overtired. Either than, or make sure they get a nap beforehand. Either way, if a child starts screaming in a public place, they should be removed. That's only common courtesy for the rest of the public.

6. What do you feel is the BIGGEST mistake parents make when it comes to disciplining children? Inconsistency... first and foremost. What is a child to do when they do something on Monday and the parents are fine with it, maybe even thing it's funny... but they do the same thing on Wednesday and they are yelled out or punished for it. That's not fair, because then the kids don't know what is correct behavior. Not when "correct behavior" is dependant upon the whim of the parent.

If you want to play along, let me know and also leave a comment at Monday Madness

Have a happy Monday.

8 comments:

CDPJ said...

Oh my! You and I are so on the same wavelength. I would have given all the same answers, except about the switchig. I never had any of that. My grandma could get me with just a look too... that's where my mom learned it. For us growing up, the idea of disappointing our parents was motivation enough to keep us out of most trouble. Except me and my mouth... that always got me in trouble. Personally, I find that too many parents let their children make the rules or set the schedule -- even as toddlers or younger. And you just can't do that. If you wait for your child to tell you when he/she is tired before you put them to bed, neither of you will get enough sleep. I see my SIL do this time and time again. We use time out with The Boy, and it's almost always becuase he isn't listening -- his preschool teachers tell me the same thing -- and that is just disrespectful. If you teach a 2 year old it's OK to ignore your mom or dad, what are you going to do when they're a teenager?!?!? If you don't lay down the rules and set boundaries early in life you are going to be in big trouble down the road. It's just common sense to me, but so many parents are deadset on being friends with their kids or not making them mad that they can't see what impact their lack of discipline is having (or could have in the future). I could go on and on about this because I, of course, am a perfect mother and all should bow down to me.

By the way, today I did the meme you tagged me for last week...

Tori Lennox said...

My parents never had to actually spank me. The threat was enough to make me behave. *g*

JennieBoo said...

Thank you for sharing.

My grammy "switched" us too. Boy! That hurt! And you're right...wrong size, redder thighs!(My grammy's saying.)

Hope you're having a great Monday.

kailani said...

I was raised by pretty strict parents. In fact, I still worry about defying them even though I'm now in my 40s. LOL!

I think that a lot of kids these days are not disciplined enough. Yes, we should be "friends" with our kids but they also need some structure in their lives.

Callista said...

Good answer. I took part too: http://callistasramblings.blogspot.com/2007/07/monday-madness-discipline.html

Marianne Arkins said...

I so agree... my DD learned from the moment she could focus on my face, what was right and wrong in her behavior. She also learned that I meant what I said. She'd try most things once (screaming in a store, etc), but it didn't take twice.

Nothing makes me crazier than a mother telling her kids, "If you do that again, I'm going to (insert punishment here)." and the kid does it again, and the mom repeats herself.

I remember once being in the grocery store with a kid screaming at the top of his lungs, "I WANT FISHSTICKS!!". His mom had moved up several feet, looking at something. I stepped over to him and said, "If you were my son, you'd never eat fishsticks again."

He shut up. LOL...

Okay. all done.

Renee said...

I totally agree with you and I'm trying to train my own DD to be a better parent. When we're out and another kid is screaming I say "somebody is done shopping!" LOL

And the inconsistancy is so true. It makes me sick when I see America's Funnies Videos and they the winner is a kid being bad on tape. How can you tell a kid that's wrong and then give them a prize of money for doing it?

I get lots of complements on my DD and my dog's behavior...and neither are treated like my parents treated me. DD knows that when she gets the look what she is doing is not approved behavior.

Liz said...

I know I'm a day late, but thanks for stopping by my Monday Madness post! I agree with all of your points - good answers. =) "Inconsistency" seems to be a big answer across the board - it must be bothering quite a few people!