Win a T-Shirt: Unwillable by Jackie M. Stebbins

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Jackie M. Stebbins will be awarding a custom #StebbinsStrong t-shirt (US only) to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

My writing space is open, well lit, and has a large window where I can easily see my kids playing in the front yard, neighbors walking, stray kids riding bikes, and what’s going on in the neighborhood. During the nice weather of the spring through fall seasons, I love to have my window open to hear my kids laughing (or sometimes crying) and the birds singing their morning and evening songs.

My writing space has a comfortable desk, fitted just to my height, and an ergonomic chair. My workspace is tailored to my needs, with a special focus on my back, neck, and surgically repaired shoulder.

My writing space has a door to shut to keep out noise, so I can focus. But the space is also right next to the kitchen and pantry, where my kids constantly run by to get snacks, tell me a story, ask me a question, show me a picture, and fight just outside the closed door.

My writing space is full of my things. A quilt from law school is draped over my leather chair next to the window, and an Elton John blanket my mom gave me for my birthday takes its place on the ottoman. Elton John paintings and photographs hang on each of the four walls. Lyrics from my favorite Elton John song, Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters, is painted on the wall my desk faces. Gel pens in the colors of red, purple, blue, and black, are in an Elton John mug next to me, along with various witty notebooks and large, brightly colored to-do lists. And at all times, I have a monthly planner within reach.

My writing space has music. It has my old CD collection that reminds me of when life felt simpler and happiest, in the nineties, and it has speakers that connect to my phone to remind me that I have access to every song ever made, right at the tips of my Apple Music fingers. My writing space has a time for music and a time for silence, mostly when I’m editing.

And lastly, my writing space has books! So many books. They are behind me on a giant, custom-made bookshelf. They are also next to me on my desk, so I can endlessly page through to find that one perfect quote I’m always looking for. The space is full of journals into which I’ve poured out my heart with my colored pens. It has old journals so I can revisit the past and the times when life hurt, and new journals that prove to me I’m living my better days ahead. And my space has my own book, Unwillable, proudly displayed on a shelf. My finished project that reminds me why I began writing in the first place.

I doubt I have objectively defined an ideal writing space. I have however, described my ideal writing space. Welcome to my home office, the place where my memoir, Unwillable, was born and laid to rest before final publication.

“Jackie Stebbins’ UNWILLABLE is an inspiring story of a brilliant woman’s battle with autoimmune encephalitis and the circle of support--from loving family members to dedicated physicians--who helped guide her through a hard-won recovery. Her story is as moving as it is important and is destined to help so many others facing this condition.”

Susannah Cahalan author of NYT #1 Bestseller Brain on Fire

Enjoy an Excerpt

While my complete stay isn’t embedded in my memory, because of what the illness was doing to my brain, my time there will never be forgotten because of its place in my life’s story. That experience definitively marks where I’m right at the edge between a well-educated, successful, driven, independent, and thriving woman and an incapacitated person, powerless and relegated to the care of those around her, on the brink of brain damage or death without the intervention of the correct diagnosis. And a small part of me now believes I then understood that I was teetering on a life-altering and explosive line. But that same small part of me can’t say whether, for the first time in my life, I believed my situation to be unwillable. Perhaps my own will would not be enough.

I will always remember crawling into bed the first night, ragged with emotion, and the racing thoughts my mind was still able to conjure up. The questions pulsed through my silent tears. What the hell happened to me? . . . I cannot possibly belong here. I haven’t led a life that would lead me to this dysfunction. I was doing so well. . . . I’m the senior partner at my law firm. I’ve never before had a problem with mental health. . . . Why am I at rock bottom? How the hell did I end up in a psychiatric ward?

About the Author:

Jackie M. Stebbins was living her dream as a nationally recognized family law, criminal defense, and civil litigator. But Stebbins’s career as a lawyer abruptly ended in May, 2018, when she was diagnosed with a rare brain illness, autoimmune encephalitis. Stebbins persevered to make a remarkable recovery and turned herself into an author and motivational speaker. Stebbins is the author of the JM Stebbins blog and host of the Brain Fever podcast. Stebbins’s side hustle includes raising three lovely children with her wonderful husband, Sean, in Bismarck, North Dakota, and in her leisure time she can be found reading, trying to be funny, and aqua jogging.

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