Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Win a $30 GC - The Big Fat Mermaid by Dweezel and Pallie


This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Dweezel and Pallie will be awarding a $30 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

She's nasty, she's gross, and she's anything but little. All Aria the mermaid princess wants is to stuff her face full of food, but what happens when her dad, the king, tries to stop her? The answer: laughs beyond belief! Watch as Aria deals with her mean dad, a chubby-chasing prince, a harpoon wielding sea captain, and, in a grand final battle, the monstrous water witch herself.

Aria will bite, belch, and fart her way into your heart in this second installment of the Funny Stories for Kids series, brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.

Enjoy an excerpt:

“Oh, good,” said Crustacean, swimming into a long, dark, stinking, dirty dungeon. It's cells were full of sad looking sea citizens. “See, Tortly, dis gonna be easy! It like I always say, a good Crustacean is a--”

Crustacean swam directly into a shark.

The shark turned around and growled, showing its wide smile of sharp teeth.

“Oh my!” Crustacean gasped.

“Intruders!” shouted the shark. He opened his mouth and went to bite Crustacean.

Crustacean dodged the charging shark with some quick swimming moves, but Tortly, behind him, was too slow. Tortly screamed and went into his shell.

The shark caught Tortly in his mouth. He bit down on the turtle’s shell, which became wedged in his mouth.

Crustacean come from behind now and began pinching the shark with his lobster pincers.

“Take some of dis,” Crustacean shouted, poking and pinching, “And some of dis! Not so tough now without you scary teeth!”

Crustacean wound up his little red claws and poked them both into the shark's eyes.

About the Authors:
Dr. Dweezel and Professor Pallie have become famed in their respective fields for outstanding contributions. For nearly a decade they have collaborated on the recording of lost ancient texts and tales.
Buy Links for Books ~ Facebook


a Rafflecopter giveaway

9 comments:

Goddess Fish Promotions said...

Thanks for hosting!

Lisa Brown said...

Thanks for the chance to win :)

Becky Richardson said...

Would love to win. Thanks for the chance.

Rita said...

I liked the excerpt.

Victoria Alexander said...

Crustacean is awesome LOL! Can't wait to check this one out :)

DanieX said...

I loved the excerpt!

Kelsey Hof said...

The excerpt is pretty great.

stacey dempsey said...

Love the cover lol

Betty Woodrum said...

Great excerpt, thank you!