Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What, When, Where, Why, How with D. Renee Bagby


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What came first, the chicken or the egg?

A pregnant chicken laid a fertilized egg and that egg held a rooster who... ummm... Okay, let me start over. An egg hatched a chicken that... hmmm... that doesn't work either. How about the chicken and the egg existed simultaneously and the egg held a rooster? Yes, that gets rid of the incest. Good. And then the chicken and the hatched rooster have little eggs. Those little eggs hatch and there is no next generation of little eggs because all those previous eggs are related and... you know what? No more chicken nuggets. There is no chicken. It died out due to this conundrum. Humans later found an animal with a similar taste, named it chicken and didn't tell anyone about the first one.

When did you start writing?

First grade. I was really good at M and W but I had a few issues with the lowercases B and D. Oh wait, you meant writing as in book writing. Well let's see... I put pen to paper (literally) in high school so I would have a visual record of my flights of fancy, and it made the teachers think I was taking notes. I still have those stories. I need to scan them into PDF documents so I can get rid of the notebooks via shredding. They are heavy and, as a military spouse, I move way too much to keep lugging them around.

I started writing with the intention of actually publishing something in college. I was bound and determined to get that manuscript finished. It took a few years. In that time I got married, graduated college, and moved to CA before I actually finished my first rough draft. I had a huge sense of accomplishment and the knowledge that I could actually finish something if I put my mind to it. chanel handbags

I then scrapped that entire first draft, totally reworked the plot, and wrote it over again. The only thing to survive were the character names. :D After struggling with finding an agent and failing, I submitted to Samhain Publishing (beta reader suggested them) and then my editor proceeded to bleed red corrections all over ever single page to get the masterpiece that is Adrienne, my very first published work. I'm very proud of it and I still love reading it to this day. :)

Where does the snow go when it melts?

Thin air. Seriously. We had flurries earlier this morning. None of it stuck. It disappeared as soon as it reached the ground. My past encounters with snow are much the same. It snows, it accumulates, and then suddenly it's gone. Well, except for the huge piles of dirty snow on teh side of the road that the plows left behind. But that doesn't count as real snow. At that point, it's ice mixed with rock salt. Now that stuff turns into the white gunk that's all over your car and costs extra to clean off since you have to get the special wax and the deluxe undercarriage cleaning.

Why do fools fall in love?
Because love makes fools of everyone therefore everyone who falls in love is a fool and thus fools fall in love. However, the people that don't fall in love are smart and lonely and are totally missing out.

How do crayons taste?

That depends on the brand and quality. The crayons that draw smooth with very few wax bumps taste like those wax lips minus the syrupy stuff on the inside. Or like dentist wax. Kind of a weird texture and it will stick in your teeth if you chew.

The crayons that look really vibrant but don't transfer that beautiful color to the paper no matter how hard or how long you rub, those taste like the wax paper that sticks to prepackaged foods and never comes off no matter how much you pick at it. You suck it up and eat the food any way with the intention of spitting out the wax paper but you can't tell the difference in texture and end up eating it all.

Then there's the brittle crayons. You look at them and they break. You can't hold them because your hands turn colors and at that point you might as well be finger painting. Those taste like unfinished grits. They've got that sandy quality to them that won't leave your mouth no matter how much you rinse or spit. Even when you think you've got it all, you still hear the crunching when you eat dinner that night.


D. Renee Bagby is the type of woman who lives in her imagination. She visits the real world only long enough to spend time with her husband and two cats and go to her day job. If it wasn't for bills, hunger and fatigue, Renee would more than likely spend all her time trying to get the stories that are in her head onto her computer.

Renee is also the type of woman who looks forward to getting lost just so she can find a new way home. She approaches her stories in much the same way. If there's a roundabout way to get from girl-meets-boy to girl-and-boy-live-happily-ever-after, she's sure to find it and write it.

http://dreneebagby.com


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4 comments:

Devon Gray said...

Hilarious! I loved all the answers...especially the one about the chicken. Very thought provoking-LOL!

lainey bancroft said...

Now I never want to eat chicken nuggets or crayons again.

Whatever will I have for lunch? :0

Mysti Holiday said...

You've given an awful lot of thought to the crayon question... did you have a taste test before you answered? LOL... seriously, though, I think I might agree -- especially about those crayons that LOOK good, but only come off pale and waxy. What a let down...

Great interview!

D. Renee Bagby said...

I didn't taste test the crayons myself but I have spoken to a few people on the subject. :)